Where Am I?

Jul 21, 2011 by

The past 6 weeks have included travel to Dallas, LA, and now Aurora.  In the whirlwind of embracing family, laughing with friends and visiting with those I love, I have woken in a bed that was not mine wondering where, in the world, I am.  In my mind, I’ve planned to visit a friend only to remember that she lives in another state, different from the one I, myself, am in.  Disoriented.  Where am I?

I’ve asked myself that question a lot lately concerning my relationship with God ever since I returned from India nearly two years ago.  “Where am I?”  That question has often morphed into another, “Where is God?”  Disoriented.

More and more, I’m convinced that He is everywhere, in everyone.  I know that most people of faith assume that.  You know, the earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof kinda thing.  But, let’s be honest, we have each had situations and circumstances in life where His presence, face, will, or fingerprint have been hard to find.  Some of those moments are dark, filled with loss, depression, anger.  Some of them are so everyday and nondescript that God’s awesomeness would have surely been apparent were it present.  Right?

As my relationship with Him shifts, morphs, changes, evolves, expands and contracts, my spiritual mile markers, landmarks and points of references have too, again, inviting those where am I / where are You questions to the forefront of my heart and mind.  And, that’s okay.

This I believe: that the earth really is the Lord’s, from the majestic beauty of all creation to the pain and baseness of simply being human.  It’s all God’s.  So, if I have a hard time finding Him, finding me, I want to believe that the problem is not with His absence, but in my perceptions of what He might look like at all.  God is.  I am.  I pray for the eyes to see . . . where I am and Him within me, beside me, all around me.  You too.


Peace and Blessings,


Nicole Walters



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