Beyond the Boundaries

Jan 12, 2013 by admin

I was walking downtown the other day and came across this:

By “came across” I mean nearly tripped over.

There, in the middle of the sidewalk, protruded the robust roots of a very tall, very confident tree. Its age was betrayed by the cement buckling on top of it. Clearly, when this tree was first planted, it must have been more agreeable with its surroundings. I imagine that at one point in its life it behaved and lived peacefully within the 4×6 plot of land it had been given. But then, it just kept growing—spreading wider, reaching higher, living freer—until its boundaries became more of a suggestion than a rule. Its pursuits undoubtedly spurred on by Seattle’s abundant rain and occasional sunshine.

I’m feeling a little bit like that tree these days. I’m growing in ways that buckle some of  norms of my life. I’m taking chances that require expansion . . . of my thinking, my actions, and especially my courage.

I’ve written a book that will be published by Booktrope sometime this year. That excites and scares me. I’ve shared the early manuscript with a select group of friends and family and have appreciated their encouragement, input, and critique. While that caused my knees to knock a little bit, I found comfort in knowing that these people were my friends and would, gently, advise me in improving the work that has been my passion for the past two years. Well, as I’ve gotten closer to publication, I’ve shared my manuscript with strangers . . . strangers who review books for a living.

THAT scares the crap out of me.

What if they hate it?

What if the book sucks?

What if I’m like that girl on American Idol who warbles like a loon but thinks she sounds like Barbra Streisand because her momma ‘n ‘nem told her see can sing?

What if me and my little book get the Simon Cowell treatment?

Will I be okay?

The answers to those questions have yet to be unveiled so I have some choices to make in the meantime, which brings me back to that tree.

I bet that old tree has seen life come and go. My guess is that it has witnessed countless families move in and out of the apartments it shades. It probably has seen businesses come and go from the building just to the right of it. Still, the tree stands, firmly rooted in the ground beneath it while the world changes all around.

As unapologetically free-spirited as I am, lately I’m finding new value in consistency, stability, rootedness. I want to choose to remain me—stalwart in my convictions, my loves, my desires—no matter what anyone says, including book reviewers. I believe in doing so, in stretching, reaching and growing beyond my boundaries, I can challenge and exceed them, and maybe even make room for others to grow along with me.

Well, that’s my intention any how.

This girl is reaching for the sky, come what (reviews) may. Who wants to reach with me?

Peace and Blessings,

Nic